I sucked his dick tonight until he came. I was glad when he finally came. I think I sucked his dick for about 30 minutes maybe more. Next time I will try to time myself. In the beginning I was somewhat turned on. He did do something different tonight that really surprised me. He rubbed my back and kissed me closed mouth on my lips, neck, and cheeks but just when I started to relax and enjoy the attention he stopped and turned over on his back signaling me to suck his dick. This is the same routine we go through every time we have sex. He lies on his back and grabs his dick signaling me to suck it. It never changes but hoping to get something out of it like dick penetration I sucked his dick; it’s something I have done a lot. Since the sex between us is so sparse I am willing to suffer through the dick sucking just for the hopes of feeling his dick inside my wet pussy.

I started zoning out while sucking his dick thinking about my Waffle House experience a few weeks ago in order to keep myself aroused. It is in these moments that I miss being single the most. I miss the thrill of the prowl, the excitement of a new partner, and new adventures at my choosing. The great thing about being single is if one bed partner isn’t working out you can always kick that partner to the curve and find another. In marriage it’s not so simple or easy to do. There are so many things to consider when contemplating divorce. I would rather my husband fulfill all of my sexual desires so I wouldn’t have to cheat and behave like the slut I have been behaving like lately but I can’t hide or stop my feelings, desires, and needs for constant sexual attention. Now I’m married  and stuck to the same hum drum routine each time we have sex which wouldn’t be so bad if that included my husband taking an interest in getting me aroused. But he doesn’t so I continue to create my own excitement and I feel very guilty in the process. Thinking of past encounters or current ones helps to ready me physically for penetration by making my pussy wet. My husband rarely prepares me and when he does it’s by spitting on his fingers and rubbing them on my pussy to make it wet.

But tonight once I realized he wanted me to suck his dick until he came I wouldn’t even let him touch my pussy. I felt like if he really wanted some pussy he wouldn’t just lie there on his back and allow or expect me to suck his dick for longer than 20 minutes or until he cums. At this point I became very upset and wanted to get the whole thing over as soon as possible. While I sucked his dick I just thought about all the errands I had to complete the next day until he finally came.

Minutes after he came he looks over at me and says what can he do to make me feel good. I mean really didn’t he already know the answer to this question? For real though, men can be such selfish bastards but if we behave like them we are holding out and giving him cause to cheat. I looked at him square in his eyes and said nothing and I meant it. I didn’t want a pity fuck. Besides I can take care of myself which I did.

Self preservation is what I am all about these days as it has become a necessity to my sanity.